Baby Girl had been with us a few days when she had her first visit with her bio mom. It took place at a fast food restaurant. Mom gave her a lollipop, so she was all sticky when she came home. Apparently lollipops were pretty common for Baby Girl because she sure knew one when she saw one. All in all I guess the visit went well, although the case manager said that Baby Girl didn't really act all that excited to see bio mom.
For the second visit a transporter came to take baby girl to the restaurant again. When she brought her back she said mom was a no show. Baby Girls case manager was coming for a visit that afternoon, and when she got there I asked her about it, and she told me that mom said that she was there but she didn't see the transporter or Baby Girl. The transporter had never seen mom before and so she called the CM to ask her for a general description, the transporter said that she had seen someone there that looked like that description, and the lady had looked at her too, but never approached her. The transporter said that she even tried to kind of show the baby to that person, but got no reaction. OK first of all the transported was black and baby girl is white, so that is going to automatically draw attention, it just is. So if you are waiting for someone to bring your baby for the only hour a week you get to see her, I think you are gonna check that out. So she apparently saw them, but didn't recognize her own baby!!! After two weeks you don't recognize your child!!! Really?!?!?!?!?
After that visits were hit or miss...mostly miss, for the next two months, and bio mom didn't even try to work her case plan. She failed one drug test and refused to take one another time. After the man in her life got out of jail for the reason the police and DCF were called when Baby Girl was placed into care, Baby Girl was forgotten completely and soon bio mom was nowhere to be found. Bio mom had told the CM that she was pregnant. (Baby Girl was her 3rd child, new baby would be her 4th...she has none of them)
Mom finally surfaced in New York where she was from and has had the new baby, a boy, who was placed in foster care at the hospital.
I have actually had more compassion for birth parents as we have been on this foster care journey than I thought I would. This mom was raised in and out of foster care herself and so perhaps she never learned how a mother should love. It is just so hard not to have harsh feelings toward someone who could treat her children this way. I have heard that she is trying to get the new baby back, so I hope that she does get her life together so she can learn how to be a good mom.
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